Steven Covey - "Seek to Understand, than to be understood" - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

By Dr Thabi Luthuli How to Un Understan stand d Other ers s by Un Under erstan standi ding ng Yoursel elf Steven Covey - "Seek to Understand, than to be understood" Definition - the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individuals distinctive character (make up, blue print) None of these types is specifically described as being positive or negative - hence the combination of positive and negative adjectives. They each have upsides and downsides. The characteristics are for observing and identifying, rather than judging. ##understanding what makes your CHILD tick ~ gives us grace in parenting! ##understanding people around you, includes Work environment, Church members , Counselling , etc. !!! Spouses

PERSONALITY GROUPS

▪

Power werful ful Cholerics ics Conside idered red to be l leader r and commande ander r types, s, being dominant inant, , strong, g, decisiv sive, , and occasio ionall nally y arrogant. ant. They tend to be g good leaders because se they are driven n to get et things ngs done, , howe wever r they might ht offend d some people along the wa way Always ys ri right ht , can be c controlling ling, , strong charac racter er, , bra rave, , speak ak

• ut
• ut

e.g. The Preside ident nts.

POPU PULAR LAR SA SANG NGUI UINES NES

are a social al personal nality ty type, e, displaying ying chara ract cteri eristi tics cs such as a predispos position ition to social alize ize and d enter erta tain in. They enjoy y fun, n, chat atting ting, , telling ng stories es - and nd are fond of promising ising the world, d, because ause that t is the friendly ndly thing ng to do, get et on well with people e and d can an get et

• t
• thers excit

ited ed about ut issues, but can anno not t always ys be relied ed upon n to get et thing ngs s done. e. They love interact eractin ing with ot

• thers

s and d play y the role of the enter erta tainer iner or cent nter of atten enti tion

• n in group

up intera ract ction

• ns.

They have a tende denc ncy y to over-prom

• mise

ise and d und nder er-deli deliver er. . Sang nguines uines are e also known wn as the "Popula ular" r" type. e. Some fa famous

• us examples

mples are Bill Clinton,

• n,

PEACEFU CEFUL L PHL HLEGM GMATIC TICS

have e a rel elax axed ed personality sonality, , being ing laid back k and desiring siring a peacefu ceful l envir viron

• nme

ment nt above e all else. se. They y are easy y going, ng, nonc nchalan lant, t, un unexci cita table. ble. They y tend nd not t to actively ely up upset et people, le, but ut their eir indifferenc rence may frus ustrat trate e peop

• ple.

le. They y also have a "dry" y" and qui uick sense nse of hum umor

• r. Mediat

ediator

• rs!

s! "Chol holeric eric's 's drea eam m is s to own wn a Phlegma egmatic" tic"

PERFECT FECT MELAN LANCHOL HOLY

Ther er personality sonality displa playi ying ng a strong

• ng empha

mphasis is on think inking, ing, evalua uati tion,

• n,

and assess ssmen ent. t. Thei eir r typical cal beha havi viou

• ur involv
• lves

es thinki nking, ng, ass sses essing, ng, maki king ng list sts, , evaluati uating ng the e positi tives es and negat atives, es, and gene neral al analys ysis s of fa facts ts. They y love e maps, s, charts ts and d graphs hs. . They y are us usua ually y the e most st intelligent elligent of the e four ur types, es, however er they y tend nd to dwell ell on det etails. ails. A Me A Melanc ncho holy ly is a planner ner, , making ing sur ure e things ngs happen, pen, some meti time mes s they y can paralyze yze themse emselves es with h over er-ana analy lysi sis. s. . Eg Eg.- Health th and Safety ty officer icers, s, Pilots ts, , Ar Army y officer icers s et etc,

SCRIPTURES- PERSONALITY THROUGH THE LENS OF SCRIPTURE?

1.

• 1. Sanguin

ine– A Trust t me! It'll work out! Proverbs 15:13 13 "A happy y heart t make e the fa face e cheer erfu ful, but t hearta tache che crushes hes the spirit. t." Proverbs 15:15 "" "" Jesus us enjoyed ed eating ng and drinkin ing g with h friends nds and sinners ers and telling ng parables. es. Pet eter--

• -ATrust

rust Me type.

• e. He

He was very dra ramati tic, c, often en speaking king up for r the re rest of the disci cipl ples. es. John Mark--

• -sta

tarted ed well but t then n qui quit t (Ac Acts ts 15:37-39). 9). King David, d, Samson, son, Barnabas, abas, Mary (Martha tha's 's Sister er-prob

• bably

ably sanguine/p guine/phlegmat hlegmatic, ic, people e ori rient nted, ed, somewh what t passiv sive). e). Many evangelis ngelists ts are sangui guine ne.

Proverb rbs s 27:12 12 The e prude dent nt see danger and take refuge, e, but the simp mple le keep going ng and suffer for it. Jesus s taught the lost about the kingdom ngdom of God. Moses--

• -A

A Do it Right kind nd of guy. . Wanted ed to know w the det etails s of how God wa was going ng to help p him lead the peopl

• ple out of Egypt.

. Prob

• babl

bly y Moses s wa was a m melanch ncholy

• ly/p

/phle legma gmatic Apoll

• llos
• s--
• -Acts 18

18:24-28 28 Proba bably ly melanc ncholy ly and choler leric. Mary, , the Mot

• ther of Jesus--
• -An

Analy lytica cal: l: She wonder ered d what sort of greet eting ng this might be. Luke 2: 19 "Mary kept all these things ngs, , pond nder ering ng them in her heart." Be it done unto

• me according to all

you have said. Likel ely y melanch ncholy

• ly/p

/phleg legma matic. Judas s Iscariot, , Jose seph ph (O.T .T.), .), Thoma

• mas--
• -he doubted Christ's resurrecti

ection

• n. Jesus

s gave him the evidence nce Thomas

• mas needed to believe.

. Esther the Queen n wa was willi ling ng to compl ply y with the rules s and requi quire rement ments s of her position.

• n.

Many y teachers s and interce cessor ssors have melancholy ncholy person

• nali

litie ies. s.

• 2. MELANCHOLY-- HOW WAS IT DONE IN THE

PAST?

• 3. Chole

leric ic--

• - Let

et's 's do it now! Galati latian ans 1:10 Am I no now w seek eking ing human an approval, l, or God's d's approval? al? Or am I t tryin ing to please ease peop

• ple

le? If I wer ere e still l pleasin asing peop

• ple

le, , I would would not

• t be a servant

t of Christ ist. Proverbs 11:1 :14 For lack of guida dance e a natio ion fa falls, ls, but many advi dvise sers s make vic ictor

• ry sure.

e. Jesus sus argued ed with h the scrib ibes s and Pharisee isees s about bout the Law. Paul--

• -A

A Do it Now! w! temp mperamen

• ment. He was

as left for dead, ead, imp mprisoned isoned, , stoned ed, , forsak saken en and d forgott tten en, , yet et he pres esse sed d on towar ard d the high calli lling of God. d. Elija jah stood

• d agains

inst the priest iests s of Baal. al. Josh shua, a, Rebe bekah, , Prisci scilla lla, John the Baptist tist, , Martha tha Many apost

• stle

les/ s/proph

• phets

ts are e Chole leric. ic.

• 4. PHLEGMATIC-- LET'S KEEP THINGS THE WAY

THEY ARE!

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.“ Proverbs rbs 15:18 18 "A h hot

• t-tem

empe pere red d man stirs rs up diss ssens nsion, n, but a pati tient nt man calms s a q quarre rel. Jesus us spoke to the deepest st needs s of the woman at the well and the woman caught ht in adultery. Barnaba abas--

• -pr

probably y phleg egmat matic and sanguine, guine, Ac Acts s 15:37-39 39. Nehemia miah—A Status tus Quo and Conse sens nsus us builder der, good admini nistrati trative ski kills to accomp mplish sh a task sk. Isaac, , Joseph eph (N.T.), ), Hannah--

• -sh

she was was submi miss ssive and remained ned fa faithf thful, ul, even though ugh her dreams ms were not

• t fulfilled.
• d. She may have appeare

ared unstab stable when n she prayed ed in the temple mple. . He Her reacti tion n after r she prayed ed shows s she was very stable le. Many pastor

• rs and int

ntercessor cessors s are phleg egmat matic

UNDERSTAND/IDENTIFYING PARENT PERSONALITIES

~ ~ underst standi nding g what t makes es your CHILD D tick k ~ gives es us grace e in parent nting! ng! Sangui uine e (Popul ular) ar) Pa Parent “The popular parent lives to have fun and thrives on an audience. Sangui uine e pare rent t would like to have e the starr rrin ing g role and an et etern rnal posit ition

• n on center

er stage age withou hout t the responsibil

• nsibility

ty for any of the hard work or details.” sense se of humor

• r and spont

ntane neous

• us actio

tions ns are embarrass assing ng * they y would d choose se to be inconven enie ienced nced instea ead d of publicly icly re repri rimande nded for r not

• t followin

wing g ru rules * creati tivit ity sometimes times humiliat iates es them * forgetf getfulne ness ss often en creates es a scare e for Ph Ph kids

CHOLERIC (POWERFUL) PARENT

“Cholerics rics believe that t if f everyone ne would only do thi hings ngs their eir wa way - immedia diately - we could all live happily ever after... A Powerful Parent’s strength lies in mot

• tivati

tion

• nal

l and action n ski kill lls, s, while one of her weaknesse esses s is an expecta tati tion

• n of

instant obedience from all those around.” * aggressive motivation often doesn’t work * use kind nd words ds to mot

• tivat

ate Melancho choly ly (Perfec ect) t) Parent “The Perfect Parent is what all others wish they were: clean...punctua punctual.. ..detail detail- consci cious us... .. sinc ncere ere... ..st steadf adfast.

• ast. This

s person son takes es on raising sing childr dren n as a s seri rious us lifetime project. Melancholy parents risk raising kids that don’t fit a “perfect” mold despi pite their best efforts ts. M: * Bot

• th are more agreeable and gentle,

, so they y mix x well. * Make extra effort t to praise se and guide de and affirm rm child ld * Differe rent nt levels s of perfecti ction * Watch h allowing ng kids ds to get et overly y distr stract cted d and lost t in their world d * Compr mpromis mise on their comfort zone

PHLEGMATIC (PEACEFUL) PARENT PHLEGMATIC (PEACEFUL) PARENT

“Peaceful parents have the kind, low-key, relaxed, ed, patien ent, t, sympa mpathe thetic tic nature we find so agreeable...they don’t argue, they roll with the punches, and they’re never irrational or hysterical. Peaceful parents must t force ce themselv mselves es to invest est energy y into

• their

ir relatio tionships nships with h their ir childr dren en lest t commu mmunica icati tion

• n become

come nonexist xisten ent.” are det etermi mine ned d t not

• t to sweat

at the small stuff, they can get et lost t in noncomm communi nicat catio ion * Devel elop

• p self-discipline and model it for kids * Don’t avoid

confr front

• ntat

ation

• n all the time!

e! * It’s fun to relax * Buildin ding g meaningful ningful conver ersati sation n is vital al!

FLORENCE LITTAUER

Florence nce Littauer auer is a Christ stian an self-hel elp p author hor and public ic speak aker er. Littau auer is best st known n for her series es of books ks based sed upon the Persona

• nalit

ity Plus person

• nal

alit ity system. em.[1] [1] She was listed ed as one of Helen K. Hosier's er's "100 Christia stian n Women men Who Changed nged the Twent ntieth th Cent ntur ury" and has receiv ived ed the Nationa

• nal Speaker

ers s Associa

• ciati

tion's n's Counci ncil of Peers s Award d for Excel cellen ence ce and has been n designat ignated ed by them m as a Certif ifie ied Speaki king ng Profess ssion ional al.[2][ [2][

PERSONALITY PLUS" (1983) SILVER LININGS: BREAKING THROUGH THE CLOUDS OF DEPRESSION (1994)

Persona

• nalit

ity Plus for Pa Parents: ts: Un Understan standin ding g What t Makes es Your Child d Tick k (2000) 0) Persona

• nalit

ity Plus for Couples ples: Un Under erstan standi ding ng Yoursel elf f and the One You Love (2001) Set etting ting the Stage e for Your Child's d's Faith h (2002) 2) Behind ind the Person

• nalit

ity: y: The Story of My Li Life (2003) Your Personali

• nality

ty Tree (2005) 5) How to Get et Along g with h Difficu icult t People (2006) Commu mmuni nicat cation ion Plus: How to Speak k So People e Will Listen n (2006) 6) Persona

• nalit

ity Plus at Work: k: How to Work Success cessful fully y with h Anyone e (2011) Co Co-wrote e with Fre red After Every Wedding ng Comes es a Marriage ge (1997)

Persona

• nalit

ity Test Taken from Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself Directions: In each of the following rows of four words across, choose the one word that most often applies to you. Continue through all forty lines; be sure each number is marked. If you are not sure which word “most applies,” ask a spouse or a friend, and think of what your answer would have been when you were a child. If you are filling out the PDF version, mark your boxes with the number 1 to auto-calculate your totals.

• 1. ____ Adventurous
• 2. ____ Persistent
• 3. ____ Submissive
• 4. ____ Considerate
• 5. ____ Refreshing
• 6. ____ Satisfied
• 7. ____ Planner
• 8. ____ Sure
• 9. ____ Orderly
• 10. ____ Friendl