z Lauren Schneider, LCSW OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center 1 z Agenda - - PDF document

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Aug 14, 2023 425 likes •536 views

4/7/20 Supporting Grieving Children as a CASA Volunteer z Lauren Schneider, LCSW OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center 1 z Agenda 1. Bringing Grief Out of the Closet 2. Understanding childrens grief from a developmental perspective 3. What to

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4/7/20 1

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Supporting Grieving Children as a CASA Volunteer

Lauren Schneider, LCSW

OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center

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z Agenda

1. Bringing Grief Out of the Closet
2. Understanding children’s grief from a

developmental perspective

3. What to Say, What to do?
4. How Our House Can Help

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It’s OK to say the “D” word. Really!

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CHILDREN’S GRIEF

§ Different than Adults § Don’t understand permanence & irreversibility until

elementary school

§ Grieve in spurts: cope with distraction § Revisit their grief as they mature cognitively &

emotionally

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Children grieve on the inside.

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J William Worden, PhD: Tasks of Mourning

To Accept the Reality of the Loss To Process the Pain To Adjust to a world without the deceased To Find an Enduring Connection with the Deceased in the Midst of Embarking on a New Life

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OUR HOUSE: 4 GOALS FOR GRIEVING CHILDREN

1. Help them understand what happened.
2. Help them express their feelings.
3. Help them get their needs met in the absence of the

person who died.

4. Help them find ways to honor and remember their loved
ne.

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Explain Cause Truthfully in Age-Appropriate Language

§ Children can tolerate the truth § Titrate the amount of information § Avoid confusing euphemisms § NOT IN A BETTER PLACE!

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Ask: Do you have any questions? Golden Rule:

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School-Aged Children: Concrete Operations

Understand permanence; Universality

Concrete thinkers and have short attention spans

Need help talking about the cause of death & understanding it.

Suicide, Homicide, Overdose, etc.

11 Teens: Erickson’s Formal Operation

Abstract Thinkers but deny own mortality (magical thinking) Ego-centric so often blame themselves Lack emotional maturity to think and cope with death like adults Cope with death in ways that can be dangerous Developmental course may be altered at a crucial time

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Teen Aged Grievers Unite! 13

Teens: Developmental Imperative Identity vs. Role Confusion

§ Who am I without the person who died? § Need a peer group to identify with- may seek out a gang

in effort to fit in somewhere

§ Parental death might force the teen to become

prematurely independent of give up her independence to look after family members

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What happened to my Dad?

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4/7/20 6 What happened to their body?

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Where is your special person now?

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Goal #2: Helping Kids Express their Feelings

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Typical Grief Reactions:

§ Anger § Fear

§ Sadness § Happiness/Relief § Guilt

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Goal # 3: Helping Kids Get Their Needs Met

Secondary Losses

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Goal #4: HELPING THEM FIND WAYS TO REMEMBER & HONOR

§ MAINTAIN THE

CONNECTION

§ REMEMBERING DOESN’T

HAVE TO HURT!

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Honor and Maintain the Connection

Bar Mitzvahs, Quinceaneras Birthdays Anniversary of the death Weddings Births Other funerals

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Campus Memorials

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NEED TO SUPPORT KIDS NEED TO ATTEND FUNERALS

Attendance at the funeral gives children:

1. The opportunity to honor

their deceased parent.

2. Provides comfort to children

in the same way it does for adults.

3. Presence of teacher and peer

support is optimal

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